A Life Less Blog

An Introduction to Motherhood
March 21, 2012, 5:09 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Poetry

Nothing is more peaceful than watching a sleeping baby.

The flutter of the eyelids, the contented sighs, the folded hands and curved inward fingers.

The bowed legs and turned in feet, looking like prayer hands; lightly touching each other.

Complete relaxation.


It is easy to lose track of time watching a sleeping baby.

The rise and fall of his belly as he breathes in and out.

The slight nodding of his head as each breath is drawn in,

Making his whole body stretch and reach for even deeper slumber.


Gravity gradually pulling him down into the mattress,

His muscles relaxing, as he floats in his suspended world.

His arms heavy at his sides.

His legs seeming to dangle in space with only his toes to ground him as he

Lazily wiggles them back and forth.


He barely makes a sound, his lips slightly parted,

His head gently rocking upon a hardly visible neck.

Even his ears seem relaxed as no noise penetrates

His rhythmic pattern.


The breath expanding to his belly, to head, to arms,

To gently laid hands and splayed fingers, in a

Prayer pose of feet and a grounding of toes; all

Culminating into a smile on my face, as with a contented sigh

I force my own eyes to close.


September 12, 2010, 7:54 pm
Filed under: Life, Philosophy, Poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: ,

Every dawning of a new day is looked upon with surprise.

The sun rising and setting is just a marking of time.

Every breath that is consumed and expelled depreciates the body,

withers the husk, loosens the bonds that ground us to the earth.

The seasons changing show us how Nature carries on independently of our plans for it,

and doesn’t need any help from us to do what comes naturally.

Every step that is taken is another step closer, another jaunt, another skip, another

bend in the road, another obstacle to challenge us as the sands of time run through the hourglass of our lives.

One day we will look out of our window and the light will no longer blind us because there will be another figure to absorb our attention.

The figure will beckon and we will not be afraid, we will realize we have reached the next step in our lives…we will have ascended as high as we can on our current plane.

Every moment will melt away.

Time will have no meaning.

Food will not be needed.

Drink will seem a distant memory, as will everything else that seemed to be so important;

caused us so much stress.

We will exhale all of the anxiety, fear, loss, depression, negativity

and inhale calm, serenity, love, and grace.

We will shed all of the possessions we accumulated making us lighter and lighter,

causing us to lift off the ground, and push up against the ceiling like a hot air balloon pulling at

the weighted lines that hold it to the earth.

This is when our skin and our minds will expand to become so thin and so full of hidden knowledge that the

substances of our body will cease to be solid.

We will feel ourselves pass through the walls of our homes,

fly through the roof and rise up to the clouds.

Nothing will be holding us down, not worry, nor heavy change in our pockets,

we can just float up and up and

glide on the wind watching our energy dissipate into all directions

knowing that eventually all our parts will come back together

finding their way as if by instinct,

to the same destination.

Thursday Poet’s Rally Week 28 Poem Post—Perfect Poet Award Acceptance
September 8, 2010, 10:00 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Poetry

A single flower

bends with the wind in a field

A perfect pairing

I need attention

I need attention

I need to be heard and seen and felt

I need to be loved and cherished and held

Without this attention I am like a

flower left without water and

a child locked in a dark room

all shriveled, emaciated and reaching

I need to know I matter

I need to know I matter

and that I matter to you.

I want to be counted

relied on, thought of,

longed for, and to know that whatever I do

I have your support.

I hope this is a wake up call, I hope you read this

I hope you absorb it and realize that I need you

just as much as you need me and without us

working together

my back can only bend so far

until it breaks.

***This post is for Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally Week 28 Poem Post.

Thank you to Jingle @ Jingle for nominating Wondrinsoul the Week 27 Perfect Poet Award

For Week 28, I nominate Lest I Smite Thee @ http://lestismitethee.wordpress.com/2010/07/31/writing-rape/

For Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally — Lauren’s Wedding
August 25, 2010, 9:38 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Poetry | Tags: , ,

Last year I was the one in the white dress, staring at a picture of myself

in the glass watching from the other side of a black and white camera lens,

screwing in my smile and keeping it firmly planted on my face,

not feeling the heat of the day, and being protected from the melting of the cake.

This year I watched as you prepped your makeup in front of the mirror and

blotted your lipstick, tucking a careless hair behind your ear as I helped to

hold up your white dress, too high for you to step into, and then lower so your

cotton colored shoes could slide gracefully down the fabric and touch the earth once again.

I remembered you as a child of peach fuzz hair and cross eyes, crawling backwards.

I remembered you as a toddler being dressed up as the boy in our house games,

following me around and cooking up imaginary meals for me with your shorts on your head,

pretending it was a chef’s hat.

I remembered you as a kid falling and breaking your arm on the monkey bars, the same arm

that reached up and held one side of your birdcage veil while the jeweled comb on the other side

was being slid into place by our Mom.

I remembered you as a teenager, and being jealous of your ability to draw, and the fact you were always

skinnier than me..these seemed petty concerns on this day.

I thought of these things as I held the sides of your dress together and we zipped you into your future.

The dress fit you like a sigh, so snug yet so perfect for your form, as if it was painted on.

I watched as you looked into the mirror and I saw the corners of your mouth turn up the moment you saw

how beautiful you looked.  It was as if all the preparations you had made for this moment hit you all at once, and

your wedding became real.

Mirrored in that white dress I saw all the stages of your life fall away

and you were left in the center whole, complete, happy.

You were radiating confidence and poise, a model of strength and conviction.

I was so proud and a little surprised to see how much you had grown up

and how much of myself I recognized in you,

on that day,

in that moment,

we were both wearing a white dress together,

staring into the mirror of the rest of our lives.

East Coast Summer
August 10, 2010, 7:28 am
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Poetry | Tags: , ,

I’m a California girl at heart, born and raised there most of my life….having moved to the East Coast in 2007, I still have been getting used to the differences between the seasons.  Summer for me is the worst, and if anyone asks…I always say, bring on the snow!

summer to me has become the constant hum of our window unit.

it is too hot to go outside and too humid to enjoy the sun.

summer to me has become iced tea, and sherbet, long movies

with the volume turned up as loud as it can go on the TV

to drown out the buzzing of the air conditioner.

summer to me has become watching how lazy my dog is

as he lounges on his back, his legs up like a dead cockroach and his ears lying

open and raised above his head like a bat’s

he has a half-smile that shows one side of his teeth and a small line of spittle

oozing out of the other side of his gum line

he is happily dreaming of colder days.

summer is now blockbuster movies and being allowed to wear capri pants to work,

living in flip-flops, and getting excited about a trip to the grocery store because it is

at least 20 degrees cooler in there than at home.

it is feeling trapped in your own house while the sun looks so inviting and the

clouds are beautiful and fluffy, only to be assaulted by hot air that sucks the

moisture out of your eyeballs as soon as you open the door.

it is barbeques and picnics, on the days where the humidity has gone down

and tick spray and citronella candles, swatting at mosquitoes in your mother-in-laws

backyard and back-to-school shopping.

it is vitamin D supplement tablets and cutting up watermelon

it is frozen grapes because you can’t afford Popsicles and being envious of

your relatives in California that can drive 20 minutes to the beach

it is wishing you had a pool and then realizing you would have to maintain it during the

winter and then silently thanking your lucky stars you don’t have one

summer to me has become waiting out the humidity and testing the air each night

for a cool breeze, trying to open the windows instead of run the air, and then just give up

it is constantly running ceiling fans and box fans and carrying around a spray bottle of water

summer to me is now big bottles of water and Gatorade and coconut water, taking four separate

drinks to work and making sure I remember to drink them

summer to me is being glad I love my husband so much because I see him around all

the time and when we are broke we find fun things to do at home together

summer to me is promising myself I will exercise so when winter comes and we are forced back

inside by the snow and the rain and the sleet and the hail, I will not be so out of shape

summer is making promises of taking better care of myself and then always finding something

more fun to do than exercise

summer is salads and squash and avocados (if they are ripe enough)

summer is wishing it was autumn already and visiting my parents looking like a ghost

summer is coming back from California with a tan and trying to maintain it long enough for my

sister’s wedding in just a few weeks…

summer is another season, in another year in my roller coaster of an ever-changing,

ever-growing, new and exciting life where anything is possible and everything is an opportunity.

Caught Unawares
July 29, 2010, 7:22 am
Filed under: Philosophy

sometimes I wish when I was sick I could just be sick,

instead of feeling like I have to pretend to be well.

my body knows I’m sick, I know I’m sick, but it feels

weird to act sick and not stop normal activities.

i don’t want to make other people sick because

they absorb my low immunity vibes.

it’s almost like being in the animal kingdom and

afraid to show the slightest weakness for fear of

being the first gazelle pounced on by the lion.

can you imagine how embarrassing that must be for the gazelle?

there you are, just taking a drink at the local watering hole and

BAM, suddenly you have lion teeth in your rump.

it must be such a validation that the other gazelles are faster,

smarter, and better than you when that happens.

if i was that gazelle, I would be pretty depressed.

I would probably just give up and concede letting the lion know

Yes.  I am the weaker species, you win.  Now just eat me and get this over with.

I think it might be worse for the other gazelles though who have to watch that.

I mean, they must start doing stretches or running in place or something…

something to show they are alert and fit and not going to be taken by surprise;

that is a lot of pressure to put on a gazelle, especially at 6:00 in the morning!

I guess the moral one can derive from this display of animal bravado, is not to

show weakness, EVER, or you just might be singled out as the weakest gazelle

and end up as some stronger, more dominant ( probably bigger and smarter than

you) predator’s dinner.

PMS…how about mind your own damn business!
July 28, 2010, 11:30 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Poetry

abuse, cramp, and hatred are used below

how much abuse can one stomach take?

there must be some kind of deep seeded hatred within my bowels

that causes my intestines to cramp.

No, it is not “my time of the month,” thank you for asking…jackass.

I hate all the euphemisms used for a menstrual cycle…like

it is something that should not be talked about in public, like it

is some big, freakin’ secret that needs to be hidden from others.

I am a Woman!

I have a period…get over it!

no, Aunt Flo is not visiting,

no, I haven’t received a monthly gift from Mother Nature,

no, I am not crippled with a case of women’s problems…

I’m going through a perfectly natural, rite of passage that every woman

goes through at around the same time every month.

I’m experiencing the same relief millions of woman feel

when they go to the bathroom and find out they are not pregnant;

or the same panic that accompanies a trip to the toilet when we are pregnant.

So, anyone who would like to criticize me, and chastise me for showing a little pain

on my face while my body decides its time to drop an egg and purge itself for a few days, can

just go to hell.

float on
July 27, 2010, 6:53 am
Filed under: free flow to music, Life, Poetry | Tags: , ,

*I wrote the following piece while listening to the sound below.  I did not edit this after it was written, this piece is the rough draft of what I thought as I listened to the music below…

flowing down a river and listening to the sound of my heartbeat in my ears.

i am letting everything go.

i am relaxing and going with the motion of the current.

it is too hard to push back all the time and sometimes it is easier to just

float on.

i wish for a longing that is deep within me.

i hope to find the peace i know is there.

i am letting myself go

i am just being and seeing where this takes me

the water is warm,

the current is pleasant and comforting.

i think the best option for me is to just float here,

taking comfort in the fact there is a place to float

until i can learn to swim

and raise my awareness beyond the current,

beyond the water,

beyond, beyond.

silent killer
July 26, 2010, 7:16 am
Filed under: Emotions, Poetry

my body is a serial killer

it kills everything i love

my ability to eat oranges, onions, garlic

red meat, shellfish, chocolate pudding, cheese,

whipped cream…

my body is a murderer

it killed my baby, my self-esteem, my shrinking waistline,

my growing sense of confidence, and my ability to

believe everything happens for a reason…

my body is a stranger

with a mind that overthinks, arms that

are weaker than legs, eyes that need glasses,

teeth that needed braces, feet that need orthopedic support…

my body is a terrorist

that rallies against everything, protests loudly in the street,

and tries to blow itself up to prove a point…

my body is a bandage

that wraps itself around me and tries to

protect all its exposed parts, tighter and tighter, to stop

its open wounds from bleeding out…

my body is growing

and skin is rejuvenating around the bullet

hole in my forehead, scabbing over and

hiding the evidence…

my body is my protection from all

the wounds i have sustained and will sustain, it

re-grows and re-shapes, and re-examines itself…

my body is the only barrier i have to everything

i think about, worry about, feel pain about, gossip about,

wonder about…

otherwise, everyone could see, hear, and feel

what i’m really thinking…

July 26, 2010, 6:23 am
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

i never knew

boy or girl

i only knew i loved you

i only knew i wanted you

i only knew the feelings you made me feel

the foods i wanted to eat so you

would grow big and strong

i made you eat your vegetables too early…

is that why you left?

i never knew that a bond with you could be so strong

boy or girl

son or daughter

my blood rushed in my veins

it scared me how fast my heat beat for you

did it scare you too?

is that why you left?

i tried to calm my breathing

and take it easy;

to fill my head with benign thoughts and

empty my brain of worry.

i was too much of a


to you, before you were even born…

is that why you left?

did the walls of your safe haven

feel like they were closing in?

did you feel smothered or chastised?

did i love you too much?

did i not eat enough?

eat too much?

worry too much?

love too much?

cry too much?

did you look deep into my mind and

find you were not planned and

take this as a sign to start your


when i  noticed the blood,

i knew something was wrong

i knew you weren’t happy,

i knew you




son or





Mag 24 – Waking Sleep
July 24, 2010, 12:43 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: ,

your side of the bed was cold when i woke up today
i reached over for the reassurance of your hand and
grabbed only sheets

i didn’t want to open my eyes because then i
would have to see the lack of your breathing, bump of covers

i clapped my hands over my ears, because i didn’t want
to not hear the soothing rhythm of your breath
in and out, out and in, your leg jerking periodically
as you fought your own demons in your dreams.

i stayed still, forcing my legs to press together tightly
instead of allowing my curious foot to wander over to your side
and my disreputable leg to try to twine around your own leg, pulling
you toward me, your warm half-sleep filled arms wrapping around my waist
and your scratchy morning beard tickling my neck as you buried your face in my back.

i didn’t want to wake up today and face another day without you
so i stayed in bed, drew the curtains, and hoped to see you, and feel you again in my dreams.

free flowing thought
July 21, 2010, 10:42 pm
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Poetry | Tags:

time is a fleeting thing and it is almost gone

i feel as if i am walking on this road and unable to stop

my feet keep tapping on but i can’t seem to  learn the steps.

i wish someone would show me and teach me to dance with my words and with my actions.

why is it so dark in here?  why is it so full of fear and wondering what is next?

i want to make my own destiny.

i want to make my own time and  have my own plans

my own system for what is going to happen.

i  don’t want to be alone

walking forever on this conveyor belt of a personal journey

i hope that someday soon this endless searching will stop and i will feel completely calm


at peace with where i have ended up.

**this is what i ended up typing when i listened to this piece of music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AvP1atLBuo what an amazing experience and a wonderful way to help to open up the mind and free flow the thoughts that are on the surface.  music is truly magical and can create so many beautiful emotions.  thank you so much artswebshow http://artswebshow.com/ for your free flow poetry challenge http://artswebshow.com/2010/06/23/free-flow-poetry-let-go-of-reality/…I owe you one :)**