A Life Less Blog


Highway to Heaven poem for week 25 Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally
July 16, 2010, 11:31 am
Filed under: Emotions, Poetry | Tags:

The rain pounds down on the
Unprotected shell of our car
As we stay by the yellow line and
Observe the traffic signs.

Stopped at a light, our
Car hums its impatience to be off and free.

I see a bar held by
Metal supports, surrounded by
Flashing lights, held in a Death Grip
Preventing all movement…

The light changes and we are pulled away
Leaving the prisoner of the bars in a cloud of exhaust
As the invisible line drags us home.

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21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

breathtaking…

Comment by Liliana Negoi

Amazing poem, really love the imagery. Very abstract in some ways too.

Loved these lines:

“I see a bar held by
Metal supports, surrounded by
Flashing lights, held in a Death Grip
Preventing all movementโ€ฆ”

Comment by deadpoet88

Interesting verse, good use of metaphors here, the tone was decisive and the imagery your words conjured up was expressive and evocative.

Joanny
from thursdays rally
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/

two posts today one is for jingles rally
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/07/dance-of-fire-el-amor-brujo.html

Comment by joanny

Interesting poem.

Comment by akneis

I really enjoy your descriptions. Very nicely written.

Comment by blueplatypus

Hi, this is a nice poem. I was in my truck at the park, facing the river while the rain beat down on the shell of my truck. I was reading a book and it was a nice quiet moment, I love poems with rain in them.
alan

Comment by ncbeachcomber_asa

somehow i am reminded of geometry, shapes, boxes. oh yes, and lots of rules. I like it.

Comment by almondjoycie

I really like this, though I’m still wondering what it’s about… oh well, if I’m confused, that usually means it’s good ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by jvolp9

a unique perspective, nice images.

Comment by siubhan

Great use of metaphors here… Very nice!!
We are often held by by various obstructions..and then we wait for a sign.. and the moment we see it, VRROOOMMM!!! we zoom past!
A thought provoking and cleverly done poem!
Enjoy the Rally and have a great week ahead!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by Kavita

vivid imagery…nice:)

Comment by hoiden

Impressive work done ๐Ÿ˜€ It been a wonderful read, I read this for like a few times and can’t stop, the images just keep coming back!:D Thank for sharing^^

Comment by RiikaInfinityy

what a wonderful comment! I’m grinning from ear to ear…cheshire cat style ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

you have a good strong poem here.
Great job

Comment by Artswebshow

i am happy you think so and hope to read something of yours soon!

Comment by wondrinsoul

Such vivid imagery so beautifully described. Thanks so much for sharing ~ Amanda x

Comment by buttercup600

thank you, i can’t wait to read something of yours ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

vivid images,
well done poem!

Comment by Jingle

thanks for reading, I always appreciate comments ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

please take two awards from this link:

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/07/55-human-minds-buzz-like-bumble-bees.html

please feel free to pass the awards to 1 to 10 poetry or blogging friends of your OWNโ€ฆ

Comment by Jingle

Rally 25 starts on July 21, please wait!
love to have you in.
๐Ÿ˜‰

Comment by Jingle




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