A Life Less Blog


Highway to Heaven poem for week 25 Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally
July 16, 2010, 11:31 am
Filed under: Emotions, Poetry | Tags:

The rain pounds down on the
Unprotected shell of our car
As we stay by the yellow line and
Observe the traffic signs.

Stopped at a light, our
Car hums its impatience to be off and free.

I see a bar held by
Metal supports, surrounded by
Flashing lights, held in a Death Grip
Preventing all movement…

The light changes and we are pulled away
Leaving the prisoner of the bars in a cloud of exhaust
As the invisible line drags us home.

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21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

breathtaking…

Comment by Liliana Negoi

Amazing poem, really love the imagery. Very abstract in some ways too.

Loved these lines:

“I see a bar held by
Metal supports, surrounded by
Flashing lights, held in a Death Grip
Preventing all movement…”

Comment by deadpoet88

Interesting verse, good use of metaphors here, the tone was decisive and the imagery your words conjured up was expressive and evocative.

Joanny
from thursdays rally
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/

two posts today one is for jingles rally
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/07/dance-of-fire-el-amor-brujo.html

Comment by joanny

Interesting poem.

Comment by akneis

I really enjoy your descriptions. Very nicely written.

Comment by blueplatypus

Hi, this is a nice poem. I was in my truck at the park, facing the river while the rain beat down on the shell of my truck. I was reading a book and it was a nice quiet moment, I love poems with rain in them.
alan

Comment by ncbeachcomber_asa

somehow i am reminded of geometry, shapes, boxes. oh yes, and lots of rules. I like it.

Comment by almondjoycie

I really like this, though I’m still wondering what it’s about… oh well, if I’m confused, that usually means it’s good πŸ™‚

Comment by jvolp9

a unique perspective, nice images.

Comment by siubhan

Great use of metaphors here… Very nice!!
We are often held by by various obstructions..and then we wait for a sign.. and the moment we see it, VRROOOMMM!!! we zoom past!
A thought provoking and cleverly done poem!
Enjoy the Rally and have a great week ahead!! πŸ™‚

Comment by Kavita

vivid imagery…nice:)

Comment by hoiden

Impressive work done πŸ˜€ It been a wonderful read, I read this for like a few times and can’t stop, the images just keep coming back!:D Thank for sharing^^

Comment by RiikaInfinityy

what a wonderful comment! I’m grinning from ear to ear…cheshire cat style πŸ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

you have a good strong poem here.
Great job

Comment by Artswebshow

i am happy you think so and hope to read something of yours soon!

Comment by wondrinsoul

Such vivid imagery so beautifully described. Thanks so much for sharing ~ Amanda x

Comment by buttercup600

thank you, i can’t wait to read something of yours πŸ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

vivid images,
well done poem!

Comment by Jingle

thanks for reading, I always appreciate comments πŸ™‚

Comment by wondrinsoul

please take two awards from this link:

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/07/55-human-minds-buzz-like-bumble-bees.html

please feel free to pass the awards to 1 to 10 poetry or blogging friends of your OWN…

Comment by Jingle

Rally 25 starts on July 21, please wait!
love to have you in.
πŸ˜‰

Comment by Jingle




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