A Life Less Blog


Spotting
July 26, 2010, 6:23 am
Filed under: Emotions, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

i never knew

boy or girl

i only knew i loved you

i only knew i wanted you

i only knew the feelings you made me feel

the foods i wanted to eat so you

would grow big and strong

i made you eat your vegetables too early…

is that why you left?

i never knew that a bond with you could be so strong

boy or girl

son or daughter

my blood rushed in my veins

it scared me how fast my heat beat for you

did it scare you too?

is that why you left?

i tried to calm my breathing

and take it easy;

to fill my head with benign thoughts and

empty my brain of worry.

i was too much of a

mother

to you, before you were even born…

is that why you left?

did the walls of your safe haven

feel like they were closing in?

did you feel smothered or chastised?

did i love you too much?

did i not eat enough?

eat too much?

worry too much?

love too much?

cry too much?

did you look deep into my mind and

find you were not planned and

take this as a sign to start your

departure?

when i  noticed the blood,

i knew something was wrong

i knew you weren’t happy,

i knew you

boy

or

girl

son or

daughter

had

already

left.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

This a wonderful poem of grief
expressed so lovingly and hauntingly
yes, they are children, our children..born or unborn,..you will meet again
such love

Comment by Suz

So powerful. The love seems to flow one way for so long and you express that along with the doubts/guilts so brilliantly. But, they come back to thank you and to love you again as they did before they needen to leave to become a complete person.

Comment by Stafford




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